Are you good at your job? How can you tell? Increased salary? Accolades? More responsibility? Advancement? Maybe all of these together combined with an office and good health insurance?

I've never gotten any of that and having an awesome office in the future is unlikely. That's because my chosen vocation is a homemaker. Now, some of you may be feeling sorry for me about now, “Oh, that poor girl, locked in her house all day...” But, your pity would be wasted. You see, I'm a college educated, reasonably intelligent woman who's chosen to stay at home and take care of her husband and her children. I've chosen to be a homemaker when there were other options – easier options, financially rewarding options, intellectually fulfilling options. I chose, along with my husband, to be a homemaker, the maker of a home.

The responsibilities of a homemaker are great and I pile more upon myself because I'm loathe to buy bread when I can make it at home and I've actually taken to ironing the vintage napkins we use daily, passed down from Bobby's relatives. I pack lunches and cart the boys to school when they miss the bus. I occasionally meet my husband for lunch and try to start cooking dinner each night at 5. But, I also talk my 70 - something year old next-door-neighbor into going to matinee movies, and attend Bible studies and pray for the school my children attend.

What I don't do is sit around eating bonbons. Where did that idea come from anyway? If I spent all day on the couch (and I'm not saying it's NEVER happened), everyone in my house would know it and my punishment would be merciless teasing. There would be Pizza Hut for dinner and no clean socks. I have admitted before and will admit again to times of laziness – one more episode of Last Man Standing or just 30 minutes more of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South. And, I am not as industrious as other women I know. But, I'm rarely afraid to open the door of my home to someone.

I'll be the first to say that I'm shockingly bad at a lot of the things my job entails. I make breakfast for my boys every day, but forget to deposit the birthday checks they received from grandparents. I used to sew adorable holiday outfits for my twin toddlers, but would let the dust lie on the furniture. My friend, LeeAnn, says she's a great “straightener” not a great cleaner. I can't say I'm great at either. But, I don't know that I was “great” at my other jobs either, definitely not all aspects of them. I've worked at a Hallmark shop and a dress shop, taught school and piano, been a missionary and a sous chef, handled customer service for a website and sold scrap-booking supplies. I loved parts of all those jobs and was really good at parts of them. Actually, they're probably the same parts I'm good at now – relationships and creating. I'm still terrible at organizing and repetitive stuff.

I know I'm extraordinarily blessed to be a stay at home wife and mom. I know that's not even a possibility for many and I count it a privilege. I'm grateful my husband thinks it's just as important as I do that I'm here – keeping the home fires burning.

But, it hasn't always been easy. This is a life of service, a life of duty and selflessness. That's hard for someone as selfish as I am. Though the people I serve most are super cute, I sometimes think they're impossibly demanding. I sometimes have to deal with pity and condescension (from within and without!), or others thinking that I have time for anything because I'm “just a stay at home mom”.

Before we married, Bobby introduced me to a song by Paul Overstreet called Homemaker. It talked about his wife's amazing abilities. She could have done whatever she wanted, “She could take this world and turn it on.” But, she chose to stay at home, “but, she takes her love and makes our house a home.” I felt so validated by that and by the fact that Bobby showed it to me.

When I get too whiny, I think of my Swiss friend's grandmother. Miriam's grandfather was a watchmaker. His hands were his livelihood, so he refused to do any manual labor. Miriam's grandmother was left to chop the wood and build the fires (literally keeping the home fires burning!) in addition to her other responsibilities. I can turn up the heat with the touch of a button and turn down the complaining with a prayer of thanksgiving.

I once heard a missionary say he wasn't called to the mission field, that instead he was compelled by Christ to go. I feel like that about staying at home. It's definitely a calling, sometimes it seems it would be easier to find a job. But, even when things have been financially hard, Bobby and I have both felt compelled for me to stay where I am. I think our lives are better for it, even if our savings or college fund isn't.

My Bible study teacher in college, Betty Thomas, was instrumental in opening my eyes to this way of life. She taught that being a homemaker was a high and holy calling and I've come to believe that it's true. She said that Ruth Graham, wife to Billy Graham, had a sign over her kitchen sink that said, “Divine work conducted here 3 times daily.” Preaching to thousands isn't the only form of divine service. Maybe making a great pimiento cheese sandwich and serving it with love is divine, too (especially, when it's homemade pimiento cheese and toasted until it's crispy and melted!).

Though the challenges can be frustrating, the rewards are worth their weight in gold. My children love to have friends over and we sometimes don't want to leave once we're all home. When we were packing to move from Nebraska to Pennsylvania, my son Davis threw himself on the floor of our basement in exhausted frustration saying, “Why do we have all this stuff?” I replied that it makes our house homey. Then, Davis shocked me by saying, “Stuff doesn't make our house homey. You do.” Awwww...

Though it won't fully fund our retirement account, that comment and ones like it are priceless and let me know I'm doing a good job.

Recently, a friend paid me a huge compliment. Faith had been by my home to borrow a necklace and I invited her to stay for tea. A week or so later she called to see if she could return the necklace and asked if she could invite herself for tea again. I smile to think of it. That blessing could easily have been turned down – uh, my house is too messy, I don't have any tea! But, I just threw the door open anyway and received a great blessing in Faith's visit and presence.

I'm not saying every woman should be a stay home wife or mom, just as I don't think everyone should be an orthodontist or pastor, and I know not everyone would want to. I'm just saying I'm thankful I can and you, my dear friend, can invite yourself over for tea any time!