Doylene

While living in Texas, eating amazing Mexican food and superb barbeque, I was surprised about many things.  People actually DO wear Wranglers and cowboy hats, cowboy boots and huge belt buckles, like all the time, to the grocery store and to church.  I was surprised at how much wealth people have and how much money people spend - $75 to PARK at Cowboy Stadium on game days, seriously?  But, I wasn't surprised that we were so whole-heartedly welcomed into the arms of the Britton/White/Bowen family.  Not one little bit.  And, of course leading the charge to acclimate us to Texas life was Bobby's Aunt Doylene.

I am truly grateful that Allen and Davis got to spend some time with her, get to know her.  Eat pizza at her dining room table and take naps on her couch.  Help themselves to drinks from her fridge and take her out to lunch.  It was a pleasure for me to get to know her on a deeper level too.  I spent many a pleasant afternoon talking stuff over in her den, shopping for Christmas gifts and carpet, and discussing movies and books.

Unfortunately, we lost Aunt Doylene about a year ago.  It makes me so sad to think that I won't be sending any more letters or cards to "Austrian Way", or that I won't potentially slam the back of my van into a meter buried in her neighbor's yard as I try to back out of her driveway.

Aunt Doylene was a short little Texas lady who loved earrings and having her nails done.  She was passionate about education and women's clubs.  She loved looking at store flyers and decorating her home.  She couldn't pass up a good deal and she loved her family.  Man, did she love us.  I'm thankful that I can include myself in that group and I'm kinda sorry for all y'all that can't.

Though we will always (always) miss Aunt Doylene, there are some things we learned from her that are a part of us now.  Just after she passed away, our family took some time to remember her.  Here's what we think of when we think of Aunt Doylene.

1.  You might as well go ahead and say what you're thinking.  Everyone else is probably thinking it too.  But, say it gently and, if possible, with a smile on your face.

2.  If you have an extra bedroom, someone might as well live in it.  This is a splendid trait inherited directly from her mom and dad, Nana and Papa.  Bobby was a recipient of her hospitality for almost 5 months when he first moved to Texas.  What a blessing that was for us!

3.  We must have been crazy, but when our twin boys were about 5 months old, Bobby and I drove from Alabama to California for a conference.  God had graciously placed friends and family about a days' drive apart, all across the country.  We stayed in hotels during the conference and two other nights.  But, every other night, we were at the warm home of a family member or friend.

One of those nights was spent with Aunt Doylene.  She took so much pressure off of this new mom.  She held babies and fed babies and dressed babies for the whole time we were there.  I still love her for that.

It was a special trip.  Allen and Davis discovered the joys of watching clothes dry in a laundromat dryer and playing with their toes on that trip.  But, one of the highlights was watching Doylene plop baby Davis on her kitchen counter and feed him his breakfast.

4.  This goes along with #2, but Aunt Doylene was incredibly welcoming.  We loved visiting her and DID literally take naps on her couch and help ourselves to drinks in her fridge.  We always knew she would be glad to see us at her door.

5.  We also learned that September 16th is a really good day to have a birthday.  Doylene shared that with Allen and Davis and always declared them her birthday present.

Thanks, Doylene, for these memories and more.  I can see you blushing and laughing and saying, "Welllll..."  We love you.

It is a fact universally acknowledged that stuff I whine about and put off and dread doing is usually not as bad as I think it's going to be.  For example, it takes less than 10 minutes to brush my teeth, floss, wash my face and moisturize before bed.  But, sometimes it seems like too much trouble. 

For another example, doing something creative is often less painful than I expect it to be.  We "inherited" a mirror from my husband's parents.  I don't think it's particularly precious, but it is particularly heavy.  It's about 3.5 feet by 2 feet and the frame is painted an interesting speckled green.  It hung in the foyer of my dear in laws home in Nashville and in the tiny, dark entry of our home in Birmingham.  Since then, it's followed us from state to state, never to show it's face again.  I did prop it against the wall in Nebraska and think hard about hanging it in the foyer there, but never did.  So, it's funny that after living in my present home for just 5 months, it already has pride of place opposite the front door.

I've put off hanging it in other places because it's so big and heavy.  I'm afraid it's going to awaken us in the depths of night by crashing to the floor.  And, though it has a regal sort of beauty, I'm not crazy about it.  I have grand ideas of painting the frame, but haven't gotten around to it.  Then, in a flash of brilliance, a motivating idea came into play.

I would give credit for this to someone, but I can't remember where I saw it or read about it.  I didn't pin it on pintrest and I don't think there's a magazine page folded down anywhere.  But, I'm sure the idea isn't original.

Here's the deal, I should paint a quote on it.  Simple.  So, why did it take me years to do it?

I could say I did it in stages - 1. Get an idea, 2.  Gather supplies,  3.  Execute idea.  But, that's not what happened.  I just needed the motivation to get it done and don't know why it happened just now, exactly.  It happened just after a visit from those dear in laws, but not before.  Weird, I know.

Also, it's not finished.  I didn't paint the frame.  I just bought paint pens (a long time ago), came up with a great quote, painted the quote on and hung the gigantic mirror up.

Maybe it's because I just had knee surgery.  I've got a new knee, so I can check that off my list and get on to other stuff.  I don't know.

After getting my kids to lay the mirror on the kitchen table, it took me about 6 minutes to decide which color paint pen to use (purple), basically block out where the words would go (they ended up slightly crooked), and paint it on.  It took another 6 minutes for my strong, curl-headed boy to help me carry the mirror to the front door, eyeball where I wanted the Hercules hooks to go, hang the mirror, realize the hooks were too low, reinsert hooks and rehang.  It took an additional 5 minutes to do a happy, hurt knee dance and get Bobby to the front door to admire my handy work.  He also ate up a minute or two pretending that I had misspelled something.

So, all added up, it took way less than an hour to execute the plan, but literal years to agonize over how to get it done.  And, I LOVE it.

Growing up, my husband had a neighbor named Amy Ashcraft.  Way ahead of her time, young Amy had a catch phrase.  She would say, "Bobby Britton, you is smart and goo-oo-od lookin too!"  The phrase stuck in Bobby's family and in Bobby's mind and he continues to use it off and on.  We still use it in our family when someone does something particularly noteworthy.  "Davis, go put your baseball stuff in the van.  I already did, Mom.  Wow!  Davis Britton, you is smart and goo-oo-od lookin too!"

So, that's what I painted on the mirror.  "You is smart and goo-oo-od lookin too!"  It makes me happy to know that anyone coming or going from my front door will receive that positive message.  It makes me laugh and it warms my heart.

So, why in tarnation did I not do it earlier?!!

It's like dreading washing the dishes or cleaning the shower.  The dread is much worse than the activity.  Nike says "just do it" and I suppose they're right.  I don't think we ever end up saying, "Man, I wish I had put off cleaning out the refrigerator just a little longer."  So, it is a fact universally acknowledged....

What have you been putting off?

Fashion

My sister has a friend whose mom is French.  Growing up this friend's mom said "You can indulge in food or you can indulge in fashion."  I imagine her saying it with a very heavy French accent and beginning the sentence with "Darling".  I enjoy clothes and looking nice in them.  But, I've never been able to translate that into walking away from a second or third Oreo.

I have this pair of weird boots.  I love them.  I got them at Goodwill and they're awesome.  They come part of the way up my leg, are a patchwork of brown leather, they zip up the side and have a gigantic heel, maybe 5 inches with a small platform in the front.  They remind me, vaguely, of a pair of platform shoes my mom had in the 70s.

I love lots of things about these boots.  They go with everything, I'm not quite as short next to my towering family when I wear them and they make me feel confident and attractive.

My son asked me once why I love those boots and I answered, "Because they make me feel imposing."  Who doesn't want to feel imposing?!!  Who doesn't want to feel like they're the master of all they survey, that they're a kind and benevolent queen for the day?

Happy with my answer I turned to my son.  He nodded once then said, "You should wear them all the time, then."

Hummmm....

Well, I can't wear them ALL the time.  They definitely wouldn't go with shorts, even though I said earlier that they go with "everything".  But, is it possible to get that imposing feeling without the 5 inch heels?  Maybe...

I often pin outfits on Pinterest and I've previously subscribed to MissusSmartyPants all in an effort to feel good about myself and what I wear.  It has helped some.  I do have outfits that make me feel cute or fashionable or yes, even imposing.  But, all the time, every live-long day?  Nope.

As I write this I'm wearing a t-shirt that's at least 6 years old which I got for free for changing a prescription to a new pharmacy; hand-me-down bright red slippers from a son who outgrew them; and incredibly comfortable sweatpants that have a paint stain on one leg and a small but noticeable rip in the derriere.  I would think twice about walking to the mailbox in these clothes and my husband would like me to get rid of the sweats.  I'm comfortable and cozy and surrounded by people who, thankfully, don't care what I look like.  But imposing?  Not even a little bit.

Do I need to feel imposing at the moment?  Would I be a better wife, mom or friend if I did?  Probably not.  But, if I looked like this constantly, day in and day out, I'm sure it would begin to affect my self esteem and therefore the rest of my life.

There's a quote by the Curly Girl that says, "I'm fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world."  And, that's the point, isn't it?  We all want to feel capable and confident.  That we can make a difference, help someone out, even change the world.  Shouldn't we all make an effort to feel like that every day?  Whether that takes a tiara, an amazing necklace or a pair of funky, fabulous boots, I say do it!  Go for it!  Then, when you feel so amazing, maybe you'll feel like indulging in something besides oreos.