Is Your Mind Busy?
That’s why you might be surprised to hear me say I try to
meditate regularly. I think it’s excellent for helping me focus my attention on
the here and now. It keeps me from getting all tied up in knots when things
don’t go my way, and who am I kidding? When do things really go my way? But I
haven’t always been so open-minded.
About two years ago, I participated in something called a
PCOS 10 Week Program with Kym Campbell. This isn’t an article about PCOS, but
just so you know, I have a horrible thing called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
which, in the words of a nutritionist, has been the cause of all my health
issues my whole life. Debilitating headaches? Infertility? Inability to lose
weight? Yep, all a result of the nasty, icky thing called PCOS.
Kym Campbell assured me she could help with all this. One
of the ways she could help was by teaching me to manage my emotions. And, in
order to manage emotions, Kym highly suggested meditating. I've heard time and
again how important and beneficial meditating is. It calms your nerves, soothes
your senses, lowers your stress levels. Perfect. I need all that.
But when I came to this part of the PCOS program, a healthy
skepticism reared up in me along with a Christian fear. We're not supposed to
meditate, are we? That's mumbo jumbo, chanting and becoming one with the earth,
right? I don't want to get into that stuff. But I wondered if there was a way,
as a Believer in the saving power of Jesus, to use meditation to my advantage;
to lower my stress levels and deepen my relationship with the Lord at the same
time.
The Bible talks about meditating. Joshua 1:8 says, “Keep
this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and
night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will
be prosperous and successful.”
Psalm 1:1-2 says, “Blessed
is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that
sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is
in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.”
The difference is what you meditate on. When meditation is
mentioned in the Bible, it's with a focus on the Word of God, on thinking about
the right things. I knew there were numerous meditation apps I could get on my
phone, so I did a search to find if there were any “Christian” ones.
A quick Google Play search turned up over 25 apps all
devoted to Christian meditation. I clicked through a couple and installed two
on my phone, the very popular Abide which claims to reach 4 million people
helping them through depression and anxiety and the one I started using (which
was free) called Jesus Centered Meditation.
I can't even type the words Jesus Centered Meditation
without hearing the disembodied voice of the meditation guide. She has some
sort of accent and a slight speech impediment. There's one part where I swear
she's going to say, "And now it's time for 'Silly Songs with
Larry', the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a Silly Song".
But she never does.
Over the months I’ve tried to more than just listen to the
voice and participate in the exercises. I’ve tried to practice. Just like in my
teenage years when I did the basic positions of ballet over and over again,
until my muscles knew automatically what was coming next, meditation must be
practiced. Just like praying for a whole hour with Moms in Prayer isn’t
something that comes easily or naturally at first, meditation must be
practiced.
It’s hard to still my body, much less my mind. It’s hard to
bring focus to your breath or the words of scripture and keep your focus there.
It’s hard not to get frustrated when your thoughts drift to the kids or the
grocery list or how long it’s been since you changed the sheets.
But, like those ballet positions that are so ingrained I
still walk like a duck, meditation gets easier. You get better at it.
One thing I've gotten much better at is clearing my mind.
The speech impediment, soothing voice encourages me to just "notice"
what thoughts I've brought with me. "Watch each thought for a
moment," she says. "Is your mind busy?" To begin with when she
asked this very simple question, my answer was an equally simple, “Uh, yeah.”
My mind seemed to always be busy; busy, busy, busy.
After those questions, the voice instructs me to put my
thoughts one after another in an imaginary bowl in front of me. In my head,
the bowl is one of those flat-ish clear glass bowls, one that might hold
potpourri or water and floating candles. That was probably a busy thought one
day, imagining what my bowl would actually look like.
Taming my thoughts has been the hardest part of meditation.
I tried to imagine myself taking each of my busy thoughts and letting them slip
from my fingers into my beautiful bowl. But sometimes my thoughts were sticky.
They clung to my fingers, demanding my attention. I tried to scrape them off onto
the lip of the bowl, but they were persistent little suckers.
Then, the voice says, "You can cover the bowl, if you
need to."
What a great idea! In my mind, I covered the bowl. First, I
gently laid a beautiful piece of tapestry over my bowl. I soon learned that
wouldn’t do the job. A flimsy tapestry could hardly contain those busy
thoughts. They would crawl over the edge and make their escape. So, I ended up
using the tapestry to help dislodge my thoughts from my fingers, wiping them on
the cloth then laying it over the bowl again. Realizing the pretty option
wasn't working, I found something that did.
In my mind, I used a piece of Glad Press'nSeal Plastic Food
Wrap. There we go! Now, I could shove my thoughts in that bowl, seal them up,
and if another one floated by, I could pull the wrap off part of the bowl,
stick the new thought in, and reseal. Voila!
It took so much effort, and at first trying to rid myself of
my busy thoughts just made me tired. But it does get easier. Now, when I
meditate, I often don't see any thoughts floating by. I’ve gotten to the point
where I feel calm and quiet in my body and my mind when I start my meditation
app. But if those pesky thoughts start flying around my head, I can always grab
a piece of imaginary Press'nSeal and I'm back in business.
While my PCOS is not under control and I don’t know if my
blood pressure is lower, I do know that I enjoy and look forward to meditating.
I’ve started using the app to help me fall asleep or back asleep if I’ve woken
up at 2am as often happens. It’s better than watching Gilmore Girls or
scrolling through Pinterest.
Just like journaling, eating mostly meat and plants and
walking my dog are all pieces of a puzzle that may one day help me feel healthy
and vibrant, meditation is helpful, too.
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