Hello world. I've missed you. For one reason and another, I haven't been writing. I've been thinking and working and other stuff, but not writing. Even this article, I didn't write recently. It's a repost from February 2019. But, I thought I'd share it with you anyway. I hope you're well.
Amy
Waiting at gate A17 in
San Antonio for my flight, I reached into my cute, little, pink purse for a pen.
I drew my hand out with a pen in my fingers and sugar/cinnamon grit under my
fingernails. I had swept the grit off my table only moments ago, not realizing
I had baptized my purse with a sweet sprinkling, leftovers from a feeble
attempt to drown my sorrows with CinnaSweeties from the Cinnabon a few gates
back.
I kept thinking I
don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here. My only consolation the
fact that I’d just checked my carry-on bag for free all the way to Harrisburg.
No more bumping it down the center aisle to the peril of passengers nearby,
hefting it into the overhead bin or sweet talking someone else into doing it.
Now I just had my super heavy “personal item” to contend with, the memory of
those delicious CinnaSweeties, and “wash your purse” added to my mental to-do
list.
Soon my flight would start boarding and I would to get
up, gather my things and walk onto a plane propelling me over 1000 miles from
my husband, Bobby. A series of weird and unusual circumstances lead to that
disheartening reflection. Long story short, my husband’s job occasionally
separates us. He’s asked to be at a job “yesterday,” I’m left to pack all the
things we continue to accumulate and carry on the life we’ve been living. All
without him.
Getting on the flight felt wrong and I felt profoundly sad, weighed down with the enormity of the task at hand. Instead, I wanted to be sitting on the porch of Bobby’s cottage, watching the clouds cross the big, blue sky. I wanted to prop my feet on the porch railing, looking for the calf we saw moments after it’s birth only to lose sight of it later that afternoon.
If you were to sit down beside me in that moment at gate A17, you wouldn’t see tears and tissues. But I could feel the tension of holding them in creeping up the back of my neck, seeping around my head to set up shop in my left temple and jaw. Apparently, I’m a very good actress. No one around seemed to notice I was about to burst into sobs or jump up and run out of the airport.
“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
How often is this phrase uttered by well-meaning friends
and clueless Hallmark cards? In my experience, it’s just not true.
Maybe you have a different kind of relationship with God,
but in my dealings with the Almighty, He regularly introduces new scenes into
my life that exceed my capabilities or coping mechanisms. Like Carson showing
an unwelcome guest into the library on Downton Abbey, God often heralds new
seasons and experiences that I can’t handle.
It happened when my dad got sick and passed away all in
two weeks. It came around when my knees needed to be replaced and I could no
longer summon the desire to walk to the back of the grocery store for cheese. And
I have felt it’s unwelcome presence each of the three times Bobby has moved for
his job months ahead of me and our boys.
I can’t handle that stuff. I want to go to bed or eat
cookie dough or get in my car and start driving aimlessly. God can fix all
these woes and so much more. He can fix anything. He can handle anything that’s
thrown at Him or at me.
In 2 Corinthians 12:10, the author Paul says we should
delight in suffering and weakness. He says when we’re weak, that’s when we’re
really strong. He should know. God gave Paul a hum-dinger of a story to tell.
He was stoned and left adrift at sea. He was beaten and shipwrecked three times
each. Paul couldn’t handle that stuff. No one could.
We’re told God goes with us. “He will never leave you nor
forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) Paul knew that verse from the Old Testament
and I assume he believed it. Otherwise, why in the world would he have set foot
on a boat again after one shipwreck, let alone two?
I recently looked up the names of God completely
expecting to find The God Who’s Got It Handled smushed between The Ancient of
Days and The Lord is Peace. It may not
surprise you that this very eloquent and relevant suggestion isn’t on any of
the lists I referenced. Not a one, however true it may be.
God took care of Noah and his family amid a world overrun
by wickedness. He had a plan of victory for Joshua in marching around the city
of Jericho. And, of course, He orchestrated the holy rescue mission of Jesus coming
to earth as a helpless baby, saving us from ourselves and our sin.
From a human perspective, all these situations seemed
unlikely to work out. They all appeared to be bad ideas. Some might call you
crazy if you were to suggest them today. But God used each for His victory, His
glory and His people’s good.
Nowhere does the Bible say God won’t give us more than we
can handle. Not being able to handle stuff is kind of what we human beings are
known for. It’s what we do and why we’re here. If we could handle everything
that comes our way, why would we need God? In fact, John 16:33 tells us we will
have trouble in this life. Jesus encourages us to take heart. When we trust Him
to take care of us, we can have peace because Jesus has already overcome the
whole world.
I know for a fact God will keep giving me things I can’t
handle. He made me and knows exactly how pressed and perplexed I can get. Yet, He
continues to plop hard, unexpected things in my lap. He knows good and well I’ll
soon be out of my depth, struggling to stay afloat, my nose barely breaking the
surface of the situation while my arms and legs flail to stay in control.
The older I get the quicker I realize I can’t take it.
I’m much quicker to call out to God. Only then does God get to show up and show
off. He gets to make a display of Himself that I can point to when someone asks,
“How do you handle all that?”
So… be like Paul and jump back in that boat. We often can’t
handle whatever is coming around the bend. But the God Who’s Got It Handled? He
certainly can.
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