I recently came across this thing I wrote a while back. It's about my sister's wedding and it gave me a sweet, nostalgic feeling. Maybe you have a couple you need to celebrate or maybe you need to celebrate your own romance, or maybe you just need to remember how much you love your siblings. Regardless, I hope you like this and I hope it makes you want to write your own tribute for someone you hold dear.

The thing on my mind today is my sister’s wedding. She and Keith Forrester were wed on June 27, 2009 in Atlanta. It was so beautiful. When I saw the first pictures, I was overwhelmed. The photographer managed to make it look almost more wonderful than the actual day. It was amazing to see two people so excited about being in love and getting married. But, it was incredible to see two families and two sets of friends so happy for a couple. 

Let me give you and example; I’ve been to weddings before where people clap after Mr. and Mrs. Whatever are presented to the congregation. That’s weird and a bit demonstrative for those of us in the South. But, at the end of Sumarie’s wedding people not only clapped, they whooped and hollered and gave the bride and groom a STANDING OVATION! Can you believe that? A real live, every single person in the room laughing and smiling and crying standing ovation. It was so sweet, and so them. Well, I didn’t think anyone was more excited than I was, but I was wrong! 

I’m going to share my reception toast with you here (if you were there, just skip to the end) because it sums up my feelings better than me just trying to tell you how it felt to have my 40-something year old sister finally hitched.

I’m Sumarie’s sister and I’m excited to be here tonight. As Sumarie started planning her wedding I would get lists of things to do or help her with. My response was always the same, “I’ll take care of that.” Amy, we need to get these programs to the church. “I’ll take care of that.” Amy, Keith likes Krispy Kreme donuts and I’ve seen these cute wedding cakes made of them. We are NOT having a Krispy Kreme wedding cake, but maybe we could make a groom’s cake out of them. “I’ll take care of that.” (I did too and it was really cute!) Never on my list was giving a toast at the rehearsal dinner or reception.

Soon, Sumarie started talking about who WAS going to speak at the reception; Keith’s brother, Keith’s dad…and I told Sumarie that I could do that for her. Over a couple of weeks I offered several times and her response was something like this, “You don’t have to.” So, I became determined to talk to you tonight.

Like any good, older sister, Sumarie has had a profound impact on my life. She had very definite opinions about what instrument I would play in band in sixth grade. In high school, she told me I should wear make up to school at least once a week and I should shave my legs with hair conditioner (at this point I looked at Sumarie who was nodding earnestly to a perplexed Keith). And, she had very strong opinions about where I would go to college.

She began subtly influencing me in this decision by doing things like inviting me to her college apartment, which I thought was very cool. On these visits we would do all kinds of sophisticated college things like walking around campus learning the words to silly songs and eating a whole Pepperidge Farm cake in one sitting. When I continued to talk to her about going to Texas Christian University in Ft. Worth, she pulled out the big guns and said, “You know if you go to school in Texas you’ll only get to come home at Thanksgiving!” And, since that seemed like an eternity to an 18 year old who had never been away from home, I moved to Auburn. (Whoops and hollers from the Auburn people in the crowd.)

I moved into the duplex our dad owned in Auburn as Sumarie was moving out. Once I was settled into 320 Genelda Ave. I was delighted to find that I had not only inherited most of Sumarie’s furniture, but several of her friends. One of those friends was Andrew Keys (here I motioned to Andrew who was sitting right by the dance floor and he promptly spit out the piece of cake he had just put into his mouth). Andrew introduced me to his roommate Bobby Britton who eventually became my husband. So, in a very real way Sumarie has influenced my marriage and adult life as well.

But, I want to let it be known that I had a part to play in bringing about this happy day. Several years ago I got a book called The Power of a Praying Parent and began praying for my kids Allen and Davis. (Here Allen waved to the crowd, Davis hid behind Bobby) I started praying for their education, their friends and their spouses. After several months, I began including Sumarie in those “spouse” prayers. I prayed them for a long time and I had fun imagining what “Mr. Sumarie” would be like. (had to pause here for the laughing to die down, didn’t realize this would be so funny…) In some things I was right on. I imagined he would love dogs, like to travel and be very close to his family. I also thought he would be very serious, quite liberal and tall. Keith, I’m so glad I was wrong. (Allen asked me later, “Mom, you’re glad Uncle Keith is short?” Well, no, Allen, I don’t really have an opinion on Mr. Sumarie’s height, good point.) 

I’m so thankful God let me see such a happy answer to my prayers. (Started crying here and really didn’t think I would. People started clapping for me. If I’d known that was all I’d have to do to get applause…) I only hope God will let me see such a wonderful answer for Allen and Davis. Sumarie, if they find someone who loves them as much as Keith loves you, they will be blessed indeed. 

Raise your glasses with me again to my sister and brother-in-law, to Sumarie and Keith! God Bless!

I told Keith later that I was surprised to see people laughing and crying. I thought my toast was so personal to me and my relationship with my sister. He said something about the human condition.  Anyway, it was all really sweet and wonderful.

Now, 6 years after the fact, I'm happy to say that Sumarie and Keith are still happily married. They travel and entertain and are a wonderful aunt and uncle. They love their dogs and old houses in Atlanta and their friends and family. 

They give me hope; not just that you can find love at any time in your life, but also that life is fun and good. I'm so thankful for my sister and I'm so glad I FINALLY got that big brother I never had.

Wisdom from Pinterest: “Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet, just to see who they really are.”  I don't think Sumarie and Keith did that, but I'm glad it worked out anyway.

I Wanna See You Be Brave

I've been thinking about being brave a lot lately. At MOPS, mothers of pre-schoolers, where I was a “soul” mom or older mom (I learned after agreeing to help out) our theme last year was Be You Bravely. I love that. Well, I love that idea. I love the thought of living this one life I have bravely, confidently, trying new things and bursting with excitement. But, I'm not sure that translates into my everyday life.

I have a wrapper from a piece of Dove chocolate pinned to my bulletin board. It reads, “Be the first to hit the dance floor.” I'm not often the first to hit the dance floor. I'm also not likely to be the first to raise my hand in a class or try out a new trend in clothes. I like to make sure someone else gives it a whirl first, then, if they survive, I may jump in with both feet. But, I won't be first, definitely not first.

So, does that mean I'm not brave?

And, what does it mean to be brave anyway? Do you have to face down gladiators like Russell Crowe in Gladiator? Do you have to single-handedly bring down a giant like David with Goliath? Do you have to be willing to have a section of your hair dyed purple?

In the dictionary brave means “to meet or face courageously; to brave misfortunes; to defy; challenge, dare.” My son, Allen, says being brave is doing the right thing, even if it hurts you.

I bet there are women out there who don't even think about being brave. They're just out there, doing their thing, living their lives, kicking butt. I bet bravery isn't even on their radar because they're so full of bravery they don't have time to ponder it. Or, maybe they're so busy, they don't have time to think about it.

Sara Bareilles has this wonderful song called “Brave” where she sings about telling people the truth and speaking up for yourself. The video of this song is adorable. I love it. In the video there are people dancing in strange and unusual places - a sidewalk by a bus stop, a shopping mall, a library, a farmer's market and, probably the most impressive act of bravery, a gym.

This video makes me laugh out loud, especially the man in the library. But, does dancing in a public place when no one else is dancing make you brave? I guess in a way it does. These people don't care what others think about them. Or, maybe they care, they just do the hard, or silly, or extravagant thing anyway.

Apparently, this feeling of not being brave isn't unique to me. In the movie You've Got Mail, Meg Ryan's character worries about her life. She writes, “ Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”

Well, I want an answer! But, I don't think I'm going to get one. Like most things that are important, I think I'm going to have to struggle through it.

I'd like to think I'm becoming more brave. I'd like to BE brave. I'd like to be like Eowyn from The Lord of the Rings. In the movie Return of the King, instead of staying safely at home and assuring her place as the next ruler of Rohan, Eowyn rides courageously into battle, confident and bold; her long, blond hair tucked under her metal helmet. At a crisis in the battle, Eowyn comes face to face with an awful, huge, faceless, witch king. He's about to kill her uncle, the king, when Eowyn steps in. The witch king takes Eowyn by the throat and says, "You fool. No man can kill me." At that point, Merry, a hobbit, stabs the witch king in the back causing enough of a distraction for the witch king to let go and for Eowyn to pull off her helmet, letting her wavy hair fall beautifully over her shoulders. Then, she delivers one of the most moving, inspirational, "girl-power" lines in the history of movies. She says, clearly and dramatically, "I am no man!" Then she stabs the witch king where his face should be, causing him to implode. It's AWESOME!

So, does bravery have to look like that?

Or, is bravery my friend who's a single mom of 4 boys who keeps getting up every morning and making breakfast and going to work and fighting to make sure her kids are treated fairly? Is it the lady at the farmer's market who paints her nails fluorescent orange or my friend who's a farmer and a woman and a blond in a profession dominated by men?

Does it even matter? Is bravery like so many things in life that looks different on each person who tries it on, like some sort of cosmic little black dress?

I love the way bravery looked when Lucy in Prince Caspian (from the Chronicles of Narnia) tried it on. At one point she, a little girl in a long dress and flowing cape, walks alone onto a bridge to face a huge mob of enemies. They laugh at her when she stands there, brave and proud. They can't believe her audacity and stupidity when she soberly stares them down then draws her tiny knife. But, she knows what they don't. Aslan, the Lion, the hero, the leader, who "isn't safe. But, he's good," is right behind her. Right Behind Her.

God is right behind me, all the time, always there. He's got my back, he's on my side. But, how quickly I forget. As much as I'd like to think I'm courageous enough to slay monsters and face down armies, I really don't fit that mold. I get stressed out and spend afternoons watching Jane Austen movies while eating bowlfuls of white, natural Cheetos ("natural" Cheetos, right...). I'm busy and distracted. I'm impatient and critical. My natural inclination is to think that if God loves you, He must not love me. If He's doing something amazing and glorious in your life then I am less than you, I'm not as spiritual as you, I'm not as important as you.

How absurd. Like Lucy, I know that God is right behind me - The God of the Universe, the Creator of Man, the God who will Provide. Why in the world would I NOT be brave? Why in the world would I NOT trust? Why in the world would I ever compare myself to someone else when God is in control, when I know, I've seen that He provides?

Sara Bareilles says, “Show me how big your brave is.” Maybe my brave isn't as “big” as Queen Esther's who literally took her life into her own hands when she even approached her husband without an invitation, much less when she told him she disagreed with a proclamation her husband's #1 man made targeting her people. Maybe I'll never have to agonize over whether to quit my job or not because of something I'm being asked to do that's wrong.

Maybe my brave just looks like a mom who doesn't buy her kids a cell phone even if EVERYONE ELSE has one.

Or, maybe my brave just means hitting the dance floor first.

Pinterest

I'm an idea saver. Since I picked up my first Bride's Magazine in the free bin outside my local library, I've clipped pages of magazine pictures I love. I've cut recipes out of the newspaper and off boxes, copied inspiring quotes from books and articles and saved pictures of furniture and homes that I'd like to replicate. I have manila folders of garden ideas and tips on buying art. I've saved articles I need to re-read and lists of movies I need to watch. While this is wonderfully inspirational, it's also fairly bulky. My husband makes comments about my folders occasionally (which I may sometimes ignore) and I'm continually trying to work my way through a basket full of recipe clippings.

That's why I was so intrigued and excited when a cousin first told me about Pinterest. “It's fun,” Jamalyn said. “I'll invite you.” She did invite me and it's then my eyes were opened to this new world of virtual bulletin boards. Anything you can find on the internet (or webber net, as my son calls it) you can potentially save or "pin" to one of your “boards”. This was made for me, I thought. A virtual, “green”, file-cabinet-freeing, marriage-saving world of loveliness. I dove right in.

I happily pinned away for a year or so until I realized that, horrors, I was just willy nilly pinning and maybe never seeing these pins again. I was throwing craft ideas and recipes and fashion advice into another file cabinet, virtual it may be, and slamming the door.

You know that quote that says, “Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”? I wanted that to apply to my computer too. Pinterest was beautiful. But, it was less than useful.

So, I had an epiphany. I would go on a Pinterest quest. I would endeavor to Do, See or Make every single thing on my Pinterest boards.

Well...I have 1.3K pins divided between 28 boards. So,.... right. That's 1,300 individual recipes, outfit suggestions, places to visit and craft ideas. I'm sure there are people with many, many more pins. My friend, Cyndi, has 2,400 but, I'm not aware that she's trying to DO something with them all.

So, here's my low-down.

Of the 12 pins on my "Products I Love" board, I've bought 2. I've made about 5 of my 151 "Great Ideas to Make". One was a wreath for Easter made out of Peeps. It was adorable and I loved seeing it on my door whenever we came home. But, the sun is hot, even in Pennsylvania, and the Peeps didn't like that. They first faded, then, melted down the door sending me scurrying with a magic white sponge to clean it all up.

Often, I get confirmation of something I've already done or something I plan to purchase. My “For The Home” board helped me find what kind of bed I wanted and what kind of quilt should go on that bed. I was brave enough to keep the pink and purple rug that was supposed to be blue and green because I'd seen pictures of bright rooms and thought it could work.

I often revisit my “Quotes” and “Favorite Places and Spaces” boards for comfort and inspiration.

"My Style" is a pre-labeled board which I first thought was for anything that I liked, so there are clothing ideas, but there are also rooms and furniture that I love. I've since pinned more clothing style related pins and am often reassured that what I have in my closet can work. I would love to find the sequined cowgirl boots on there, but alas...

But, what I have most of is food / recipe pins. There are 239 pins on my “Recipes and Yummy Stuff” board and I've tried 78 or about 33%.

Some of my favorites are brownies that taste like they came out of a box (which is a good thing); beautiful and delicious strawberry cupcakes that really did come out of a box and got doctored up; the best pizza sauce and homemade crust recipe ever; and hot ham and cheese party rolls. The couple who posted the party roll recipe are pictured wearing paraphernalia from Auburn University which is my Alma Mater. Small world.

Some of my not so great recipe tries were tomatillo avocado ranch salad dressing, but I really shouldn't pass judgment on that one since I didn't have an avocado and left out a couple more key ingredients. Zucchini brownies were not a hit either. My kids told me I "defiled" the proud brownie name and they actually went bad sitting on the counter before I could finish eating them (the brownies, not the kids). Tacos assembled and then cooked in the oven don't stay crispy and taquitos completely fall apart. Rubbing half a cut onion on the grill before tossing meat onto it did NOT make our grill non-stick as promised and a ham I cooked for Easter was way too sweet.

But, oh, the strawberry grapefruit juice, oven roasted smoked sausage and potatoes, and one pan Mexican quinoa more than made up for it.

I could also mention cheesecake, lemon cookies and almond shortbread. Definitely more delightful successes than epic failures.

So, while I'd still like to arm knit a blanket in 45 minutes, paint my piano bright blue and visit the Betsy Ross house in Philadelphia, I'm content that I'm actually doing some things, making some progress, real and virtual.

In my life, most things have to be done over and over, like a stay-at-home mom's perpetual Groundhog Day.  It would be a boring movie, but it's real life around here.  So, it's encouraging, it feels productive and I know I won't HAVE to check these things off my list again, if I don't want to. And, that's worth a bit of space in my life any day.

Now, I'm sure you'll excuse me.  I've got to take the 3 Ingredient Beer Bread out of the oven so we can eat it with the Fool-Proof Melt in Your Mouth Fall Off the Bone Ribs.  80 recipes down, 159 to go.