Bits and Pieces, Part 3

          For the last two weeks, you've been wading through a letter of advice I wrote to my twin boys. They graduated from high school in June 2018 and it threw me for a loop. I mean, I knew it was coming, but when graduation day and then worse, moving day, arrived, I was shocked. Where had the time gone? Had I taught them the things I intended to? Had I spent enough time with them? Had I been obedient to raise these young men like God asked me to?

           While I hoped my husband, Bobby, and I had imparted some sense of wisdom and love to these guys, I was afraid. Afraid I might need 18 more years to truly do justice to the raising of a blessing, afraid I might have taken too many naps and not enough trips to the library with them, afraid I had missed telling them something truly important. 

           So, I started praying. Then, I started writing. Below is the last of the advice I felt compelled, at this point, to share with Allen and Davis and now, with you. If you missed the first two parts you can read them here and here.  

           Recycle – It’s the right thing to do and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Hopefully, it will make a big difference. Recycling is one of those things people notice, probably because they don’t do it. Take a bag to the grocery store. Drop your glass, plastic and newspapers off at the recycling center. It’s not that big a deal, it will inspire others to get on the ball and again, hopefully it will make a big difference.

            Live Simply – When you can uncomplicate your life, do so. There are lots of great books and TV shows out there about this. Though I may have lots of stuff, I try to keep my schedule simple. I also try to get rid of extra stuff regularly, or at least when we move. Don’t fuss at your family about this. Just lead by example.

            Travel – When you have a choice between buying things or taking a trip, opt for the trip. Don’t be afraid to try a new place for vacation or take your kids on a long car ride. Dad will be happy to provide some of his epic shortcuts for you. That is what amazing memories are made of. If you have the chance to live overseas at some point, do it. Your dad and I will visit, and it will change you for the better. Experiencing new and challenging things, especially as a family, is what makes you stronger. Remember, camping is always a fun, cheaper option. Just get out there.

If you have a kid that gets car sick, make sure you have plastic bags close at hand and put the kid in the front if possible. While I don’t think sticking your fingers out of a car window will take away the nausea (as your Grandmom told me), it may distract someone long enough to help them feel better.

Take Care of Your Health – Eat fruits and vegetables every day, every meal if possible. Take a walk. Go outside and sit in the sun, breathe the fresh air. Find a doctor you love and trust. I read once that you should find a doctor about your age then you can grow old together. 

Turn off the Screens – Luke Bryan sings a song called Most People are Good. In it he says, “I believe kids oughta stay kids as long as they can. Turn off the screen, go climb a tree, get dirt on their hands.” Good advice for kids, good advice for you too. Enjoy the simple, pay attention to the people around you, don’t be glued to your phone or the TV or any screen.

San Antonio Symphony in the Beeville High School Auditorium

Enjoy lots of different activities – When Dad and I were dating, he took me on all kinds of different outings – bike riding in Auburn, the ballet at the Shakespeare Festival in Montgomery, free concerts on campus. He read you should do lots of different things when you’re dating to see how your “special friend” acts in different situations. I passed his test and we had lots of fun. Dad still delights in finding fun and different things for us to do. Just last night in Beeville, TX, he took me to see the San Antonio symphony at Beeville High School. The music was wonderful, the tickets were cheap, and we enjoyed a night out. There’s so much neat stuff out there to do. Go do it!

            I love y’all more than I can put into words. While I think you know that, let me just say it here, I love you, more than I could ever adequately express, more than my own life. As a result of that love, I feel the need to keep on telling you stuff. Some of these bits and pieces may seem trite or silly, but I think they’re important. Humor me, read this and live at least some of it out.

Love,

Mom

            P.S. I reserve the right to add to this list at any time and without any warning. I am still your Mom.

Something fun to brighten your day...

I want you to have it all!

Bits and Pieces, Part 2

           Last week, I shared the beginning of a letter I wrote to my twin, 19 year old boys.  This is simply things I want to make sure they know. None of this is earth shattering, but hopefully it makes them think. It made me think as I wrote it, how I want to live, what I think is important and what I hope these two young men teach my grandkids one day.

           Here's Part 2 of 3. If you missed part 1, you can read it here.

           Clean Up – Clean up after yourself especially, but help others clean up too. You didn’t have many chores at home, but you know the general principles of washing dishes and clothes, dusting and vacuuming. Make “Tidying Up” a habit. It's not the “woman's job.” It's the job of all people who use a particular space. Change your sheets often and those crazy Mr. Clean “white sponges” will clean almost anything.

            Be the Leader- If you marry a Godly woman, and I hope and pray you do, she’s going to expect you to be the leader of your family. Step up to the plate. It will be hard and uncomfortable at times. You are both more than capable of leading with gentleness, strength and love.  You are fierce protectors. That quality will become more evident as you become a husband and a daddy. Don’t be afraid to do what you think is right.

That being said; listen to your wife. She will sometimes need to wisely appeal your decisions. Let her. If possible, do what she suggests. If it’s not possible, stand strong. God’s the head of you and your family. Ask Him, trust Him and do what He says. You and your family will feel the blessing of your obedience and leadership.

            Save Money – I think both of you are learning to be wise with money. I think some of that comes from Dave Ramsey. Dad and I have listened to him for years. Once when listening to Dave in the car, we heard a caller who was burdened with debt including an unwise, expensive car lease. Y’all had become “Dave” experts by this point. After hearing the caller’s story, you started yelling, “Sell the car!”

When you start making money, whether from a career or a part time job, start saving, start tithing and start giving. Don’t neglect the saving part and don’t get sucked into overspending like so many people in this world. You’ll regret it.

            Never stop learning – My goal as your homeschool teacher from third to ninth grade wasn’t simply to fill your heads. I wanted you to love learning. I realize there will be gaps in your education, things you’re curious about that you never learned. There are gaps in my education too. It’s what you do with those gaps that makes you a lifelong learner. Go to the library, keep a list of books or topics that are interesting and work your way through them. Some of the most fun and interesting people I know are curious and constant learners. If all you can manage is a chapter before bed, or several pages over lunch, don’t stop reading and learning. Ever. Just don’t stop.

            Bring flowers for no reason – Fresh flowers are a cheap and easy way to add beauty to your home. Your wife or girlfriend will appreciate it. It’s sweet and thoughtful and will earn you huge brownie points.

Flowers from Allen

            Pay attention – If flowers aren’t part of your wife or girlfriend’s love language, figure out what is. Maybe it’s an afternoon phone call just to say “Hey.” Maybe she’ll need a good, long hug when you get home. Maybe you need to write a letter to her once a year. Whatever it is, do it! Pay attention to what speaks to her heart. For that matter, just pay attention!

            Be kind – Be sweet to everyone, even your brother. Kindness goes a long way. Hold the door, let someone go ahead of you in the check-out line, be the first to introduce yourself. Take time to listen when someone’s upset. Ask if others need a hand. Buy lemonade from the kids at the lemonade stand down the street.

            Find the funny – There has always been a lot of laughter in our home. You guys are funny. Don’t be afraid to be silly. Keep looking for good, clean jokes and tell them often. The Bible says, “God, who sits in Heaven, laughs!” Psalm 2:4

            I was once at a baby shower where we prayed for the mom-to-be. One wise lady prayed for strength for the mom to get through her days. The woman also prayed when the new mom felt overwhelmed, she would just laugh, lay on the floor and laugh. I pray y’all will be able to do that and I pray your families will join in.

           To be continued next week! Last week I asked what's the best advice you've ever received. Now, I'd love to hear the best advice you've ever given someone else.

Bits and Pieces of Wisdom from Your Mama

With permission from my twin boys, I'm sharing this letter I recently wrote to them. Maybe you'll find something to live out or pass on in these "bits and pieces." I should certainly take my own advice! This is Part 1 of 3. 

Dear Allen and Davis,

            When you turned 18 years old, Dad and I asked some important men in your lives to write letters to you about growing up and what it means to be a man. Those letters are sweet and amazing and I hope you cherish them. But there are some things you need to hear from your Mama.  Here they are, in no particular order….

            Relationships – There's more to a relationship than just a pretty face, as they say. Y'all have both had the thrill of someone thinking you're pretty cool. I hope you have that again. But, if someone wants you to change just to please them or their parents, run. Don't look back. Don't confuse this with someone caring about you and wanting you to be stronger and smarter and better. Change just because you're not the way someone else wants you to be is stupid. There, I said it, stupid.

            Work – Find a job you love. It may seem weird to hear this from me since I've stayed home with you since you were born. But, if at all possible, do work you love. You may have to grunt out a year or two until you have money to make a good switch, experience that will look good on a resume, or freedom to make a move. Work that time out with grace. Just keep the end goal in mind, whatever you think that end might be. It will be wonderful if you can support a family on your income alone. Then, if you're blessed with a wife, she'll be able to choose whether she works or not. “Not” was my choice. My dream job was to take care of your daddy and you. I'm really, really blessed I was able to do it.

            Jesus – This guy comes first.  Do the hard work of finding a church that opens the Bible and teaches God's Word. More than that, let Jesus seep into every nook and cranny of who you are. Don't make decisions without asking Him. Don't let the day go by without talking with Him. Get a Bible app on your phone, set it up for a verse of the day, then actually read it. Let the Word inform and transform who you are and what you do. Don't be afraid to talk about God with people. Everyone needs Him and it will be your greatest privilege to lead someone to Jesus.

            While I think most of your Sunday mornings should be spent in church, there will be days you need to praise God while “walking through the vineyards.” Your dad and I learned this from a beautiful, Godly lady in Baden, Austria. We often drove through real-live vineyards in Baden. You may not have that luxury. Your “vineyards” may be a state park, a picnic spot or your backyard. Just find a place to BE. Take God there with you and praise Him.

            Don't Give Up – Suppose you don't get everything you want on the first try. Say things are hard in your job or a friendship or a marriage. Don't give up. Push through.

We drove to California from Alabama for this moment, 5 month old twin boys with their Nana, it was love at first sight on both sides

            Dream Big – Don’t settle for what’s right in front of you if you think there’s something better out there. God may tug at your heart or your sense of adventure or put an impossible thought in your head. Go for it! People thought it was crazy for Dad and me to go to Austria as missionaries. But that was our most wonderful adventure until God gave us you. It seemed mad to drive to California with five-month-old twins. But we introduced you to people who wouldn't have had the joy of meeting two such adorable, engaging boys otherwise. Do the hard, big, crazy thing!

            Know When to Give Up – Even though I just said, “don't give up,” sometimes you'll need to. You'll stumble into a situation where you thought you were supposed to go but, it won't be the place for you. Don't hang on out of stubbornness or fear or peer-pressure. Like tugging on your heart to do something wonderful, God may tug on your heart to show you a way out. It's not failure. It may just make good sense.

           To be continued next week.... Until then, what's the best advice you've ever received?